Believe It Or Not - Friendship With An Ex Is Possible!
If you breakup with her, can you then be friends with your ex? When breakups are amicable, one or both of you asks “Can’t we still be friends?” Although it’s not universally so, for many couples the answer is yes. Of course, being friends with your ex means the possibility remains open that you might get back together, but this cannot be the reason to be friends. Once the relationship’s been dissolved, how do you go about being friends? These five tips will help.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip #1: Now that the relationship is over, you must forgive each other for whatever you feel each other did wrong, and get to work putting your lives back on track. How can you be friends with someone if you’re nursing a grudge against her? “Moving on” means just that - leaving the past in the past and concentrating on today - and tomorrow. The future’s very big - there’s no reason to keep concentrating on the failures of the past. Bringing up the past will lead to more fights - and that won’t help you make friends with her, will it?
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#2: There’s no more romance - that’s a fact. You’ve got to accept it. The days of her being your girlfriend are over, they’re in the past. Let go of the relationship - it/s over. Accept the fact that all you’re going to have with her now is friendship. Reconciliation is the real goal most men have when they agree to be “just friends” with their ex. You have to drop any pretense of a romantic relationship is you’re going to make a friendly relationship work, and by all means, don’t get jealous when you see her with another man! Think of it - what would you want her to do if she saw you with another woman?
Being Friends With an Ex Tip# 3: Don’t expect miracles overnight. Time is a great healer. This point is critical - don’t forget it. If your ex doesn’t want to be friends, that’s her right and you cannot ignore it. Let her know that you’re available to talk to whenever she wants - she may change her mind once some time’s gone by and she’s gotten over some of her pain. Let’s face it - it’d be pretty tough to try to have a friendship with your ex immediately after breaking up with her. This point is critical - you must not try to start making a friendship with her while you’re still hurting.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#4: Calling and texting her frequently will send the wrong message. “Just friends” don’t call and text each other all the time. It would send the signal that you’re looking for a relationship of more than “just friends.” You’ve got to trust me on this - if you try to contact her frequently, you’ll only wind up pushing her away. I know it’s tough, especially in the early stages, but keep your distance. Call her now and then, and text her from time to time, but keep if low-key!
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#5: Finally, to make her your friend, treat her like a friend of yours. She doesn’t need special attention or gifts or flowers. You must have some platonic friendships with women. Treat her the way you treat them. If you just treat her like you would any of your other friends, you’ll be able to make it through the potentially awkward phase that follows the breakup.
Remember this important point - if you try to become friends just to keep alive the hope of re-establishing your romance, you’ll never get over her. If a strong friendship results, great! When you first met her, she had qualities that made you want to get to know her better. Those qualities are still there. Your life is the most important thing for you to deal with, though, and if it works out that she’s not going to be part of it, either as a girlfriend or friend, accept it and move on. A life without her is possible, and remember what they say - when one door closes, others open.